Giving and Receiving Revision Feedback

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Objective

Students will be able to strengthen their writing by receiving peer feedback in the form of revision love notes.

Big Idea

Students give and receive real and immediate feedback by reading poems and writing revision love notes.

Daily Grammar

10 minutes

Today's passages gives students practice with subject/verb agreement.  In the second sentence, "there is" is incorrect because hairs is plural.  You need the plural verb, are.

 

We also practice run-on sentence.  There are  a number of dependent clauses written as complete sentences (read: with a capital letter at the beginning and a period at the end). Those dependent clauses need to be joined with an independent clause.  

 

Modeling the Feedback Process

10 minutes

When one is generating ideas, it's very easy to slip into "telling" mode.  However, poetry isn't about "telling," it's about showing.  Specifically, showing through figurative language.

 

That's what today is all about.  Taking the ideas we generated and examining them to see if we're showing or telling and then figuring out how to change it.

 

I modeled the process with my rough draft, which was actually last year's final draft. I'm still not happy with it, and I'm honest about that with my students.

 

I read about ten of the lines in my poem and asked the students if they thought I was telling or showing.  There were some times that it was clear that I was telling, but there were other times when I thought I was showing, but the students didn't see that.  And if the reader (in this case, students) can't see the showing, then it's unsuccessful and I need to revise.

Giving and Receiving Feedback with Revision Love Notes

30 minutes

Yesterday we focused on creating rough drafts.  Today we're looking at whether the details are showing or telling, and then using peer revision strategies to help revise.

 

We're using this poetry love note.  We used a similar one earlier in the year, but this one has been modified for poetry.

 

The students' task for today was to read each others' poems and write love notes for each other.  They should be sure to tell the the author about the things that are effective as well as things that could be improved.  For things that could be improved, they could provide suggestions like use a simile or alliteration. 

 

The goal was to get at least two love notes from classmates and provide feedback to two classmates.

 

 

 

 

Lesson Resources

The background from today's lesson picture comes from a presentation template in Google Drive.  Google Drive has a presentation thingy just like PowerPoint.  They have different templates, and this is one of them.