The first example of student writing is a list of evidence with no connect to an inference about the text. As I reviewed the assignment, I may be partially to blame. When I composed the prompt, I wanted to make it as easy as possible to locate textual evidence. However I did not ask a clear question. So I am unsure if I received a list of evidence without a claim due to the question or because the student were so concerned about finding evidence they did not consider their on position.
The second example demonstrates the same issues however, the student did not understand that she needed to write it as an essay and wrote it as three separate questions. The good news is, both students use the textual evidence I wanted them to cite.